Monday, January 09, 2006

Eulogy – Service held for my Mother

WGJKK WGJKF. First of all I’d like to thank each and everyone of you for coming to this service today. There is a reason why I wanted to say something today. It is not because it is my duty to deliver a eulogy. It is because I wanted to share with you the extent of loss we all feel and to reiterate that she was truly a wonderful person. She would never say a bad word against anyone nor would she accept anything negative to be said about them.

Firstly, she was honest and hardworking. Having qualified & worked as a teacher in India she waited for a year in India after marriage before coming to the UK in 1958, a year after my father came to make a life here. Imagine what life would have been like then. Only a few brown faces, open racism, limited opportunities and few of the ethnic resources we enjoy today.

She was strong person and could challenge any wrong against her children. For example, on our road a number of children had decided to hoard stones into plastic bags and ride up and down our street throwing them at us. She did not hesitate to challenge their parents and demand justice. This is one attribute I will come back to : Bravery.

She gave up her career for a while to look after my sister and I in our early years. In addition she also was so caring that she brought up a number other children. When she returned to work I remember her being a popular person who made friends quickly and was loyal to them.

She was a person that loved family. She told me that one of the things she wanted the most was from a family was for us to all support each other.

It is this support network that she built upon that made her work with the Milan centre and set-up what is known as ‘The kitty’. She loved gardening often spending hours there. She also had a lovely singing voice.

Although in the last 2 years ill heath really took a grip, she remained determined to overcome it. This attribute of bravery is one of things we need to admire. Health complications entered her life but her ‘get up and go’ /determination is something we need to recognise as a fundamental driver for us all. It is easy to give-up in the face of health issues, she had an unrivalled inner strength.

She also knew that she had a family that cared for her. Dad provided full support and made it his mission to give her the best care. Our next door neighbours said that my father and mother could teach people what true love and support is all about.

She was close to her grandchildren and knew that we all loved her very much. In 2005 she attended both grandchildren’s 1st and 18th birthdays. She celebrated her birthday in Goa before she fell ill.
Even right up until the end of her life, when my sister and I saw her in Mumbai, she fought like a real hero. Although during our short stay we could only see her for less than 10 minutes in the morning and 10minutes in the evening, my sister and I both had a similar encounter… She was sedated so we were unsure if she was conscious or not. We asked her on separate occasions if she knew if we were there. On both occasions she nodded her head gently and then a single tear streamed slowly down then side of her temple.

She was fighting for survival like a true hero, a true Sikh.
She was a true Sikh, believing and exercising honesty and truthful living.

I was told that when a person is gone it is only then that you truly realise the loss. The whole family misses her terribly but we have to learn to live without her but we know that today she is with us in spirit - among us and watching over us.



At Mon Jan 09, 09:51:00 am GMT, Blogger msingh said...

Dr Savi Ji the loss of one's parents is indeed one of the most difficult times in anybodys life.

The whole family can take some comfort from (and be proud of) the fact that you were there to give your love and support.

May Waheguru give you the inner strength to cope with his 'bhana'.


At Mon Jan 09, 11:15:00 am GMT, Blogger Dr Savi Arora said...

So nice of you to leave your kind thoughts, it is much appreciated.
PS We will be launching a new English based Sikh Podcast called Sikhwith - see

At Mon Jan 09, 06:33:00 pm GMT, Blogger msingh said...

small spelling mistake in your link dr savi - I think you meant

(you missed out the 'h').


At Tue Jan 10, 03:59:00 pm GMT, Blogger Manvir Singh Khalsa said...


Blessed are our mothers.

I remember listening to Giani Sant Singh jee Maskeen's Katha on "Maa".

He said "Waheguru has blessed the world with two great gifts... the first gift is "GURU". Waheguru has blessed the world with Prophets and Gurus. The second greatest gift Waheguru has blessed the world with is "MAA", mother."

Once someone asked Hazrat Muhammad Sahib, "What does Heaven feel like? How can I have a taste, sawaad, of Swarag, Paradise?"

Muhammad Sahib replied, "O man! The feeling a child gets when he embraces his mother and sits in the warmth of her lapse, is the same feeling of Heaven."

Ps. Bhai Sahib if you would like to come on Sweet Sikhi show please email Satinder Singh Bhaji on

At Wed Jan 11, 11:22:00 pm GMT, Blogger Dr Savi Arora said...

Just a copy of the note to you and the lovesikhi email address you kindly left...

Just a note to say I really appreciate the sentiments you left at my blog site.
By co-incident I have an email in my draft box that I was meaning to send to you.

I was one of the 1st presenter of a English based Sikh programme on Punjab radio a few years back. I did approx 6 shows and I have to say it was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Your show is well put together and as you probably know, it all about planning that makes it work well.

I'm planning a podcast called Sikhwithin and would very much like to work with you.
We have already been podcasting since late last year: see
Its one of the areas that we have developed some skills (technical (mixing), scripting, uploading/IT and presenting). I also have the agreement of Sikhnet to use selective content. (see also - all set-up and ready to go, including a listing on

Please give me a call so we can develop the idea - hopefully we can work together to make a real contribution and something special.

Best Regards

Dr Savi

At Fri Jan 13, 04:18:00 pm GMT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dear Friend,

We just spoke on the phone and then I visited
this site. I write the words I spoke last week.
It is an honour to have been present at the service. I wish as much strength as it is
possible to have for you and your whole family.

More than that, its an honour to be your friend.
I am at your service in this time of need.


At Sun Jan 15, 10:09:00 pm GMT, Blogger Dr Savi Arora said...

My Thanks to all for your sincere sympathesis at this time.
All the best.


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